


winner

by soulofme



Series: sheith sentence prompts [28]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Established Keith/Shiro (Voltron), M/M, Post-War, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 08:23:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofme/pseuds/soulofme
Summary: “Take care of yourself, Griffin,” Keith finally says. He’s got that fucking diplomat’s voice again. He steps away from the wall, hand on the doorknob, and adds, “I’m sorry.”“You’re not,” James says. He doesn’t know why he’s whispering. “You won. You got him. Just like you wanted.”





	winner

**Author's Note:**

> sentence prompt: lie to me then.
> 
> also i'm so invested in this ship that i made a [playlist](https://8tracks.com/jjibunrock/i-would-love-you-if-you-let-me) if you're into that

It’s a beautiful fucking day, when Keith Kogane saves the world.

Bright sun, blue skies, birds chirping. Some picturesque shit James is sure only exists in movies. Hallmark movies to be exact, with the sappy messages of family and hope.

Not that he knows what that’s like. Not sure he wants to, either, if it means seeing it play out on television a thousand times.

He’s standing off to the side, watching as the paladins of Voltron are given a hero’s welcome. Even Iverson looks pleased. Maybe it’s because he’ll live to see another day, or maybe it’s because the Garrison’s reputation will finally improve. Everything went to shit after Kerberos, anyway.

Speaking of Kerberos, Takashi Shirogane is apparently alive and well. He’s got white hair, some nasty scars, and a missing arm, but he’s alive. Alive, and has Keith still looking at him like he held the world on his shoulders.

It’s sickening. James pretends he isn’t staring at them. Tells himself he’s just as excited as everyone else that Earth is saved. Tells himself that he’s not burning with something that feels suspiciously like jealousy when he catches the million-watt smile Keith gives Shiro.

When faced with uncomfortable situations, James runs. That’s what he does right now. Just slides through the crowd, heads back to the resident halls and pretends that there aren’t tears blurring his vision. He’s fine. He stopped giving a shit when Keith left the Garrison, when all traces of him were erased save for those ridiculously high sim scores.

Those fucking _scores_. James tried to beat them. Multiple times. Played those sims over and over until he had the terrain practically memorized. But no one, not even him, could hold a candle to Keith.

Except, maybe, Takashi fucking Shirogane.

James doesn’t hate him. Really. Shiro’s probably one of the nicest guys Earth’s ever seen. A real leader. Everyone loves him, even when they’d been sure he was dead, his body floating around in outer space.

He should’ve expected this, he tells himself. Shiro and Keith. Star-crossed lovers or some stupid bullshit like that. Keith’s been on Shiro since they joined the fucking Garrison. Shiro’s the only reason Keith even bothered with James. If he hadn’t been so mindlessly gone for him, James knows Keith would’ve kept pounding his skull in.

He scoffs to himself and throws open his door. It slams back against the wall. Maybe there’s a dent now. He doesn’t care to check.

He flops down on his bed. He glares at the ceiling. And he _sulks_.

He feels like a child. He’s acting like a goddamn child. But James doesn’t give a flying fuck. Not when Keith Kogane has the nerve to waltz back into his life, right after James had scrubbed his memory clean of him.

It sucks, too, that he’s in the same room they’d spend Friday nights together in. If he closes his eyes, he swears he can still feel Keith’s weight pressing down the mattress, still smell him on the sheets if he presses his face into them.

Now isn’t _that_ a thought.

Here’s the thing, though. Keith Kogane is good at sparing lives. James guesses that’s what the whole “legendary defenders of the universe” thing is about. Can’t exactly go around mercilessly killing people. Wouldn’t end up too well, obviously.

Feelings, though? Not so much. It’s not like James is some delicate flower that needs to be nurtured or whatever. But he’d at least like some _warning_ before having to see Shiro and Keith looking at each other like they were in love.

Which, honestly, they probably _are_.

Fuck.

James rolls onto his side and forces himself to think about something, anything else. It doesn’t work, though, because he can hear the kids in the room next to him talking about Voltron.

 _Wow_ , one of them says, _who knew Kogane would end up like **that**?_

Yeah. _Wow_.

When Keith got kicked out, everyone assumed they’d never hear about him again. Keith Kogane wasn’t supposed to go anywhere. Keith Kogane wasn’t supposed to be somebody.

Guess he proved them all wrong.

There’s a sharp knock on the door. His roommate, probably. James keeps glaring at the wall, listening as the door opens and shuts. There’s the clearing a throat. And then:

“Hey.”

James sits up. Quicker than he’d like to admit. Keith’s standing by the door, arms crossed over his chest. Taller. Broader. Prouder. Scar on his cheek, like he and Shirogane are trying to fucking _match_.

James scowls. Keith stares. It’s very productive and all.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” James growls.

Keith sits at his desk. There’s something achingly familiar about, something that makes James want to scream.

He doesn’t. He has more self-control than that.

He watches Keith instead. There’s purpose to his movements now. He mellowed out. James is sure that deep inside, he’s still that hotheaded asshole he’s always been. But he’s _different_.

It sucks. James hates it.

“I don’t know why,” Keith starts, the words low. Like he can’t believe he’s saying them. “But I wanted to see you.”

“You miss me?” James says. Doesn’t hide the bitterness in his voice.

“Fuck, no,” Keith says. Laughs, all breathy and soft. “Guess I wanted to see where you ended up.”

“I’m right where you left me,” James says. He sounds like a scorned lover. It’s pathetic. This whole thing is. “But look at you, Kogane. Saving the world and shit.”

Keith shrugs. “Things just worked out that way.”

“There was a rumor,” James begins. Stops. Waits for Keith to cock an eyebrow at him before he pushes on. “that you washed out because of Shirogane.”

There’s a silent accusation behind it all. He knows Keith picks up on. He’s not strong enough to say the words, to say, _it’s true, you left because of **him** , didn’t you?_

He doesn’t have to say anything, in the end. Keith’s silence is answer enough.

“You don’t want to hear about that,” Keith mumbles. It’s funny how he thinks he knows a goddamn thing about what James wants.

“Lie to me then.”

Keith’s expression is carefully blank, but James knows him well enough to know he’s pissed. He sits up, back against the headboard, and thinks of what other shit he can say.

“You’re fucking him,” he settles on. Keith’s eyebrows pinch together. “Better than your right hand, ain’t it?”

“Shut up,” Keith says.

He doesn’t sound like the diplomat he had mere hours ago, the straight-laced good boy, the savior of the universe. He sounds like the old Keith, the one who thought punches were foreplay, who screamed _Takashi_ when it was James who made him feel so fucking high.

And James likes it. Loves it, maybe, if he’s going to use that word.

“He better than me?” James goads him. “He’s what you wanted, right? How’s it feel, now that you got him?”

“You’re insane,” Keith says. Makes it seem like he hit the nail on the head. “You’re so fucking _jealous_.”

“There he is,” James coos. “That whole hero thing you’ve got going on doesn’t suit you, by the way.”

“Fuck you,” Keith says. “You’re the same insecure prick you always were.”

“Yeah,” James says, standing up. Walks up to Keith until he’s pressed against the wall with nowhere to go. “You’re right. I never fucking changed. Guess you won, huh, Kogane? How’s it feel?”

“You’re so fucked,” Keith mutters. James snorts.

“You made me this way,” he hisses. “You fucked me up and then you _left_.”

“I never loved you,” Keith snaps. “I was never going to.”

James recoils at that. It feels like a slap to the face. Keith’s not saying anything he didn’t already know, but it still fucking _hurts_.

“I hate you,” James grits out.

“No,” Keith murmurs, shaking his head. “You just wish you did.”

James wants to punch him. So he _does_.

But Keith…Keith does nothing. Lets his neck jerk with the force of it. Doesn’t lift a hand up to wipe the blood dripping down his chin. Just stares at James with this sympathetic look.

So James punches him again, and again, and _again_. It’s only then that Keith shoves him back, his face a goddamn mess, his eyes wild and angry. But he doesn’t swing.

“Hit me back,” James hisses, pushing Keith’s hands away. “C’mon, Kogane. You know you wanna.”

“I’m not fighting you.”

“No, you’re not,” James realizes, laughing cruelly. “You’re not, because Shirogane had to go and make you so fucking _soft_.”

“What the hell do you have against him?” Keith says then.

“What do you think?” James snaps before he can stop himself.

Keith’s body tenses. James watches his hand curl into a fist and finds himself craving the pain. He wants it, wants it more than anything in this world. But Keith doesn’t give him what he wants. He never has. Never will.

“Take care of yourself, Griffin,” Keith finally says. He’s got that fucking diplomat’s voice again. He steps away from the wall, hand on the doorknob, and adds, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not,” James says. He doesn’t know why he’s whispering. “You won. You got him. Just like you wanted.”

Keith stares at him for a few seconds, blood smeared around his nose. James tells himself he’s not trying to memorize his face, that he’s going to let him slip away just like he had before.

He’s not.

The door slams shut. James flinches and stares down at his hand. His knuckles are stained with Keith’s blood.

He’ll have to wash it off. Not now, though. He’ll hold onto Keith a little longer. Just for today.

And tomorrow, when he’s standing in one of those shitty bathroom stalls, he’ll wash all traces of Keith off him and pretend that he doesn’t miss him.

Just like old times.


End file.
